Musings on Matters: Home Education

Skipping all the Crap

2011-05-10T18:00:00.003-07:00

Today, as my beautiful 10yo daughter was playing with some of the neighborhood girls, I felt something new. I felt a real confidence about the "social" side of things.

I had a sudden understanding of how much mental energy it takes to survive the elementary and middle school years. I really felt in my heart the exhausting cost of always worrying about this or that drama that classmates get involved in.

This girl "hates" that girl and you have to choose sides. One child said something about someone else and tempers are flaring. I think it can be everything from petty jealousies to real cruelty.

When a child is in the school world for 8-10 hours a day, there is no time to recover; the student must return to school the next day. There is no safe space at school for one to unwind or contemplate, and rarely is there someone in whom children can confide. I am speaking of the day to day, ordinary interactions here, not the fact that there are wonderful social workers and guidance counselors there to help children with great need.

I know some folks reading this will say "that's life!" and I agree! But, I'm not going to throw my 10 year old into an adult job right now, and I don't see any need for children to cope with adult problems without the space and time for growth.

I asked my hubby if it is the same for boys (my son didn't experience anything like that while he was in school) and he said, he thought it was probably more intense and harder for girls, but I'd love to hear from all of you on that!

These experiences are not absent in home educating. They are just separated in space and time, and therefore not overwhelming. My daughter can experience her feelings with the time and space necessary to process those feelings.

So when she has trouble with a few of the neighborhood kids, she has the time to be angry, to contemplate her role, to forgive if necessary.... whatever the situation calls for.

In today's case she watched two girls being mean to another girl. She wasn't able to process what was happening as it was going on, but I watched her spend the rest of the afternoon asking questions, contemplating, drawing parallels and conclusions, and coming up with her plan of action (she says that next time she will be extra nice to the girl on the receiving end of the unkindness, maybe help her stand up for herself, maybe stand up for her).

So, it seems that, while I intellectually knew that one of the many upsides of home educating was avoiding the negative social "crap" aspects of school, I knew that only in my head. Today, I got a real vision of how she can benefit from a more natural and authentic form of socialization. She can master her emotions, she can work out complex feelings and urges, she can be allowed to both experience and process, and to know herself better.

Understanding exactly how this could play out for the rest of her life is very exciting to me. I once read an article about allowing our girls to grow up "whole". That is my goal for both my children... allowing them to grow up "whole".

Even if she elects to go to school at a future date, I will know that she had this time to strengthen her inner self and fortify against "the crap"!

For a far more eloquent version I can turn to Frederick Douglass who said, "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men".

The Problem with Perfect

2011-04-26T00:57:00.002-07:00

Why do people try to impress each other? I have never, ever understood this urge.

When I look at some Facebook posts, its like looking at a glossy magazine version of life. It looks perfect! Since we know we are all human, what is the point of trying to make yourself look as if you have no troubles and are something other than what you are... what you actually are is more than enough.

When I run into old friends or schooling parents, they often have a packaged statement ready to go about their child's recent "accomplishments". I happen to think their kids are pretty great just being themselves. I would like to take some time to hear what they think. But a few of these impressers just can't resist the perfection rant; whether it be about grades or sports or their children's charitable works.

When it comes from the heart, it is palpably real, exciting, and joyous; when it comes from a desire to impress, it just leaves me sad and bereft.

I treasure my home educating friends because there is NONE of that nonsense going on.

They are not competing with each other, and we have all seen that our children are perfectly imperfect and human! I would love to hear what you think about how exactly all that nonsense just falls away when you choose a genuine life....

One of my all-time favorite bloggers is SouleMama. I can't get enough of her blog, and when I was almost starting to believe she wasn't real (all that sewing, and bread-making, and Waldorfy unschooling - could it really be done?) she posted photos of her completely devastated kitchen. If I could have hugged her through the internet I would've.

We are all real. That is pretty impressive, don't you think?

Time 4 Learning Review

2011-02-08T22:03:00.004-07:00

I love the online program: Time for Learning. What is much more important, though, is that my daughter loves major parts of Time4 Learning! She doesn't love all of it, but there are parts that grip her attention and expose her to some very good traditional learning methods.

Since we are a strengths based, eclectic, unschooly home educating family, we allow our children to choose their own learning modes and DD often chooses to use Time4Learning, completely unprompted and of her own free will :-)

One of the best features as far a we are concerned, is the ability to switch between 3 grade levels for each subject. DD uses 5th grade English (after cranking through the 4th grade material because she enjoyed it so much) and alternates between 3rd & 4th grade Math, depending on her mood. She stays on grade level for Science and enjoys the Writing and Art components, too.

At $20 a month it is one of our most affordable resources. We used Brainpop last year, but that is really great as a backup to other interests. In our particular circumstance, Time for Learning is a much better use of our home ed dollars. Check em out if you have any interest in an easy, configurable online curriculum. and let me know what you think of them.... www.Time4Learning.com

So, do any of you already use Time for Learning? I'd love to hear your experiences or answer any questions you may have, just leave a note in the comments below!

Full Disclosure... Time4Learning gave its users an awesome option to review their program honestly and be compensated $25. I did it, and used the money to keep Time4Learning another month plus :-) The opinion is entirely my own, entirely authentic, and I would've done it even without such a great offer on the table, but it sure was great to get another month of it just for lending my thoughts.

Happy Home Educating!

http://www.time4learning.com/scope-sequence/index.shtml

Relevance Matters to Learning... No Surprise to Home Educators!

2010-12-07T23:06:00.003-07:00

This article on Edutopia's site (George Lucas's Educational Foundation) explains how the brain "wires in" new information. If its relevant and connected to previous learning... it'll stick!
According to the article the 3 key points for implementation are:

Keep it interesting by using intrigue to inspire interest
Make it student directed. (don't we know it!)
Connect it to current knowledge and make it relevant to their lives.

Now if you take off the controlling verb (as in you are "keeping" it interesting, "making" it student directed, and "connecting" it) and instead apply it to an individual unschoolishly home educating, you can see how we all find interesting things, decide to explore that which we find interesting, and then experience that joy of connection when we find a relationship to existing knowledge! Thats what sticks.
My favorite part of home educating is that excited relating my children do when they've made one of these exciting connections... Love It!

What do you think?

NY Times Article on Effective Studying

2010-11-11T22:24:00.004-07:00

For those who want to learn something, you may have to unlearn what you were told about how to study!
Although this article doesn't cover how humans learn "naturally" it does offer exciting information on how to apply techniques that will improve your results for traditional studying.
After you read the article, please pop back in and let me know what you think.
Have a great day!

C-SPAN Presidential Timeline

2010-10-26T15:40:00.007-07:00

For those who are interested in our Presidents this is a very cool resource. I am getting it because I am woefully ignorant of the Presidents who presided after Lincoln and before Nixon :-) Its never too late to learn, right?

***2nd Update***
This offer has expired :-( I will let you know if I find any other sources or if they repost this offer.

**Update***
Our Timeline arrived and I wanted to tell you, it is gorgeous! It is huge and each element is visible. I can't wait to put it up on our wall! Feel free to post any questions!

All those Wasted Resources

2010-09-19T01:01:00.009-07:00

As I go over and over in my mind some way... any way... to create a resource center for the local home educating community I realized the despicable waste of resources that is Public School in the United States.

Just think of all that tax money going to management. On the United States Department of Labor site Bureau of Labor Statistics I found the following information:

According to a survey of public schools conducted by Educational Research Service, average salaries for principals and assistant principals in the 2007-2008 school year were as follows:

Principals:

Senior high school $97,486

Jr. high/middle school 91,334

Elementary school 85,907

Assistant principals:

Senior high school 79,391

Jr. high/middle school 76,053

Elementary school 71,192

Now, don't misunderstand me. Its not that I believe that the *Job Description* doesn't warrant those earnings (all though it does seem a bit too cushy to me - especially when teachers have to buy classroom resources with their own money). No, what I mean may even be more offensive.

I mean that all this talk about school reform is because the schools are failing. And all of that money going to an admitted failure is painful to see when the answer is quite simple.

Let the children mess about!

Take John Holt's sage advice and just let them 'mess about'. All those wonderful resources! Things like math games, gym equipment, books, books, books!

Even more inspiring is all those talented teachers who would love to share their knowledge with kids who want to learn what they love to teach. If only we could take away our need to control these children and let them lead using the amazing resources available in public school. The teachers could be reinvigorated as Scaffolding Experts (see Howard Gardner's work on the concept of scaffolding).

You'd be surprised what children ask to learn when you truly let go of your demands and expectations and just let them Be. They learn what they need. They learn what they want. They retain what they learn.

It may have to stay in the realm of dreams for us for a while, but I know I'm not the only one with Resource dreams. Someday we will see this option available for a large portion of our young people. Dream with me.

Why I Thought We Weren't Unschoolers

2010-09-18T23:10:00.014-07:00

I always thought we couldn't claim the title unschoolers because we are natural homebodies! I'm not sure I want the label, it is just the learning style that resonates most with me, not necessarily my children, though!

I think I may have mentioned that I have the two greatest kids in the world (;-) and each child is completely unique, but they share some commonalities. Both intensely dislike being in crowds and my youngest is particularly slow to warm up in public situations (and with strangers). They are both intellectually inclined, big readers, and they both love computers.

For me unschooling is really about life learning and I have seen what a miraculous thing this is first hand. Truly, I feel that in order to learn from life, you have to get out there and join in the ruckus of real life!

There are museums to go to, painting in the park, working in the community garden, going to co-op for a foreign language or science and all of these things are available in spades.

In our particular case, my children don't want to participate in these types of events. So what is a fond proponent of unschooling to do?

Should I, would I, could I force my children to get out more? Unh unh. Not a chance. Not only would that violate our family principles (thank you Joyce Fetterol) but it simply wouldn't work! It wouldn't allow me to raise my children up "whole".

I went through every other option available to me, but I was most pleased when I came to the happy road of acceptance and logic.

The logical and obvious fact that my children are going to end up great, no matter what! My job is to observe, scaffold, listen, and, if I'm lucky, learn along with them.

So, we have taken a different path and worked on Howard Gardner's concept of scaffolding our children's interests in tandem with cooperative learning. So far, this has worked out well for us.

Since I don't force or coerce my children to learn anything, some unschooling schools of thought (ha ha) will permit us to call ourselves unschoolers, and therefore it is now up to me to name ourselves. Of course it really was all along!

What are your thoughts?

Well, this is getting repetetive!

2010-09-18T22:41:00.003-07:00

2 Years Later.... Again! Almost exactly. I have to apply for a 'worst blogger' award :-p

A Quick Catchup:
We have continued our eclectic home education style, nurturing each child's interests and braving the weird world of quasi-unschooling.
I don't reject curriculum outright and my children often seek to remain on par with their age peers so we combine cooperative, strengths based learning with unschooling.
In my next post I'll explain why we aren't technically unschoolers.

Two Years Lay*ta

2008-10-23T17:48:00.007-07:00

My ds and dd used to looove SpongeBob SquarePants. I was occasionally amused, but mostly tortured by the little yellow sponge, but one thing that has stayed in our family lexicon is the "(x) years Layta" voiceover. If you've ever seen the show, you know what I am talking about.

Suddenly two years has passed. Faster even than on SpongeBob SquarePants episode!

Now I have to write something to encompass all that missing time!

Actually, I'm not going to worry about the gaping hole between posts.
I feel certain you will forgive me if I fill in the missing years over many posts as I reacquaint myself with this blog.

I still love home educating my kids. We tried a charter school last year. Did not work at all for my older boy, he haated it and left after a few weeks. But my dd liked it enough to stay for most of the year. Since we had made a commitment we stuck out the year, but it got really tough for her towards the end.

She got a great deal out of it, and it was a good experience overall, but I can't help but be bolstered in my decision because so much of what goes on in school is complete pomposity. Its a lot like life everywhere, people desperately trying to impress the people they suppose are judging them. The teachers seem eager to prove what wonderful stuff the kids are up to. They assign kids "projects" but the kids get very little say in what is done, or how, because then the project might not look as good. I kid you not. That drove me crazy!

My goal is to raise two independent thinking, whole, young adults who experience real joy from life and learning. Given our family circumstances, we feel fortunate that, for now, we can best accomplish that at home. I say I feel fortunate that is the case because now I get to hang out with these two wonderful kids a lot more!

A Fun Day

2006-08-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

Today we did our gamepalooza and had a blast! About twenty kids were here playing all kinds of games from chess to Halo. There were noisy zones and quiet rooms, chatting moms and giggling kids.

We set up games on little low tables, or on the floor all over the house and then let the kids go nuts

We began the day with game prep and a fabulous thunderstorm and ended with a stunning sunset and lots of talk about visiting with old friends and making new ones.

Every time I host this, I get a new mix of moms and we almost always jibe. Each time, I think "I should make a group... " but since it has a magic all its own, I'm just going to leave it alone for now.

We had a little time to talk philosophy, so many of these folks have always homeschooled it amazes me. I wrote it for my first story for True Stories on www.hstuff.bravehost.com 'cause it strikes me as incredible that you can have that confidence and foresight. I needed a bad experience to get me in line :-)
Until next time....

Deeper Meaning

2006-08-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

I is interesting to me, how much TIME matters. Without the time to contemplate... I can't really be present. I can't really use my full faculties. Even as a stay-at-home kids are in school mom, I kept myself busy all the time. Doing what... I wondered later. fortunately it wasn't years later. I am not a workaholic by nature and so I caught myself, cut out the wasted time and focused on what matters. Still those months haunt me becuase there is some bizarre pull to fill all moments of silence.
I just went on an errand and noticed a view that I couldn't pass up. Its Sunday so I had nothing pressing to return home to and thought, well, I'll go enjoy that for a moment. Its a luxury for me to do what I want without negotiation. Even then, I couldn't stop "doing", I looked for a minute and kept checking to see if I was in someone's way, and then I'd pick up my book I was reviewing for next years science studies and I realized I felt hurried as I pulled away. I needn't have... I was entirely in control of my open hours and yet there were tasks pushing down on me.
I am just now in my late thirties learning to follow my interests without the brutal interior critic stopping me before I start. So I am engaging in lots more activities and exploring more things "to do". I'd better take some time, some silent time to just be. Without that I risk becoming one of those families that has no time for each other because they are so busy.
When you are so busy its hard to think about what matters, about the deeper meaning of our days, our lives. You just keep plugging along waiting for the next "break" which is then filled with other activities.
So for me, time is not a luxury... its a necessity if I want to do this job well; my job as parent and as home educating parent. Adn as wife and friend and pt worker and entrepreneur... stop me! Time to think now.
C-ya soon.

Sleepy Musings

2006-08-01T22:59:00.000-07:00

Can't let another day go by without blogging, but am finishing up another busy day way to late!
My dd sleeps on the couch next to me as I've been tapping away on my website and volunteer brainstorming for our home education network we are in the process of creating.
Forming our inclusive homeschool network is really exciting and really nerve wracking. There have been personality clashes and huffy departures, deep bonding over hard work, and even a few laughs! A lot of laughs!
The other women on the board laugh at me because I guard vigilantly against the "professionalizing" of the board. Even saying board sounds to fussy - we are a bunch of moms who are commited to our kids and who choose to home school in order to keep our kids whole, happy and excited about life and learning.
I want meetings to include interruptions from the 8 year old who is really pissed 'cause his sister and he inadvertently switched swim trunks and the fit was not to his liking... what would a meeting be if you couldn't have the reminder of what you are doing it for interrupting you every five minutes for a cookie.
Ok, so I jest a little. But I love it when we all stay REAL with each other and one mom nurses her beautiful child while another reviews her commitee status and a third handles a popcorn emergency. Its symetry and symbiosis. This is what we are volunteering for. I don't want to come back to this board in 5 years and find it taken over by suits in masks.
It won't be ! It will always be an organic, slightly crunchy, welcoming group of dedicated parents!
So, even I can laugh at me. Now I just need to remember that it is what we do now that counts and I don't need to worry quite so much about mythical events of a potential future.
Not a bad thought to finaly get some sleep on.
Bon Nuit

I reread an early post and it got me thinking...

2006-07-25T20:57:00.000-07:00

I reread an early post and it got me thinking...

I wrote "DS then spends the rest of the day life learning and pursuing his interests.
He is fiercely independent and resists teaching, but we are working on coming to a full understanding of WHY his father and I think these things are important, and how we can come to a place where everyone's needs can be satisfied."

Hmm... I'm working towards something here.... maybe what I need to do is tell ds what I think are the benefits of being 'educated' in the way I mean- and see if I can get his buy-in (without manipulating!!) and if not let him life learn and expose him to as many varieties of things as possible. I'd love to hear comments!!

I am so stuck because I have two wonderful amazing kids and one of them would very much like to 100% control his own destiny (which also scares him and causes anxiety). This means that we've had battles in the past that neither one of us wants to repeat, and yet our family really values education (not the school variety.... the kind where one learns to communicate effectively and use logic and enjoy their creativity and so on and so on) .

I am really proud of the educational program we've created. It is "custom designed" just for us :-). I'll blog my thinking on it and the famous quotes that inspired it soon in order to gear up for our next year. Even thinking in terms of education years now seems a little strange .....

A Day

2006-07-24T23:02:00.000-07:00

We are enjoying.. ok sometimes only enduring, our Arizona summer. The adaptive thing to do is wake really early or stay up really late but our family life doesn't work optimally with the latter and the former is still a starry eyed future dream for the chronically night owled portion of our family ; namely me and the kids :-).

Despite thoroughly accepting my night owl status I actually prefer having an early morning start to the day. It is for me , a lovely clear and clean feeling. Alas, there is always some novel or other that I can't keep away from and there begins the self sabotage :-). Even the sabotage is lovely, though ... I think I might be an obnoxiously positive person under my crusty exterior .

It's only July 7th and already people who school at school are gearing up for the new year. Yikes! I need to be thinking about it too, because my littlest (dd) is thinking about attending Kindergarden. She is so social I am willing to bet that it would be a good fit for her if it is half day and yet I am procrastinating. I am actually fine with very early education and will let her attend as long or as short as she would like.

I'll have to summarize our whole school experience in another entry. I bet that will help clarify things for me. Do you find that writing helps to clarify your thoughts? I hate it when I want to express something that seems very obvious but I can't find the right words. Not such a problem when I'm typing though :-) Especially with the delete key so handy :-}

I have started a new website to address some of the issues I will be blogging about here with other homeschoolers but I have to promote it somehow to get homeschoolers there. I want to talk openly about religious vs. secular homeschooling and I want to open the dialog about the way we condescend to each other about so many things (method of hsing for one!). I want to talk about mixing homeschooled and traditionaly schooled and unschooled and lots of other controversial and interesting topics I mentioned in my long ago but closely printed "inaugural blog" entry :-)

I am reading a book called the The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene which I am finding very informative and helpful. If the title resonates read it :-)

I'm writing this as I sit on my back porch listening to the sounds of the wind chimes and turning away from the keyboard as much as my limited typing skills allow because there is another spectacular arizona sunset (complete with smiley face moon) that stretches from the setting sun in the west to the pinkpurpleblue clouds it is kissing in the west and a dimpled patch of orangebrownpurple spackling the sky to the south. Dreamy. The birds are singing too. time to zone out!

please visit www.hstuff.bravehost.com and let me know what you think!

Enjoy your sunsets!!

Musings On Matters: Home Education

2006-07-24T22:49:00.001-07:00

I will post my thoughts and our family adventures as I move inexorably towards our own version of unschooling... can't call ourselves unschooled right now b/c I intend to share what I consider to be very important information about world history and a few other subjects. My friend uses the term Life Learner which is good but I'm still not sure that its what we do.
I will have to come up with my own name ... I found only one "published" home educator with thinking similar to mine and she seems to have disappeared off the internet but not before getting an awesome article out there where she called her version of homeschooling "Relaxed Homeschooling". Don't love the name, though...

I really enjoyed the process of examining what is REAL and what matters... What is educated?, what is the benefit of an education? what is the best way to learn? what do the educational "experts" have to say on the subject?

I had a fun phone call from Dad today... he is so high on the whole home/unschool thing and is also in agreement with me about the vital importance of philosophy/world history.

Its cool that my Mom is supportive and nonjudgmental and interested, and even DH's Mom (a former teacher, we've seen that before!)

DH's focus is on problem solving and we are so excited to find fun ways to incorporate all these elements together.

At this point in time... just one month before we break for 2 months ...DS does a total of about 5-6 hours a week of World History, Science, Writing, Life Math, French (more on French later), Critical Thinking exercises,Computer Teaching and then each of these once a Month; Arts and Crafts, Art History , and Music Studies.

DS then spends the rest of the day life learning and pursuing his interests.
He is fiercely independent and resists teaching, but we are working on coming to a full understanding of WHY his father and I think these things are important, and how to come to a place where everyone's needs can be satisfied.

DD is the ultimate freeschooling pre-schooler She loves to explore her interests and, like her brother before her, taught herself to read. She spends lots of time on art, lifemath, story telling and reading. She also adores our science experiments. She also does lots of workbooks, letters, numbers, dot-to-dot and so on, but MUST do them her way or not at all . Another fiercely independent one I am quite sure!

Here are some of the topics I want to cover through this blog (better put it down "on paper" so I don't forget :-)

1. Analysis of "what matters" in education - Quotes, Holt, Gardner, Gatto, Dodd, Problem Solving, Critical Thinking, Self Cofidence, Scaffolding etc. etc.

2. Discussions of HOW we go about our life learning and education (schedule)

3. Discussions of how/if I want to move entirely to unschooling - esp. focus on Is that what John Holt really meant? (NO schooling at all)

4. Thoughts on starting an unschool facility / learning center/ resource room - see? lots of ideas :-)

5. Simplifying, Self Judgement, Wading out of the Mainstream, What Matters

6. Thoughts on being part of the formation of the Homednetaz.

7. Home Ed and Religion - Unschooling and Sanctimony (;-)

8. Whats in a name? Unschooling, Relaxed Homeschooling, Eclectic Homeschooling, Freeschooling, Radical Unschooling, Life Learning....

Lookin' forward to lots of Exploration!!!

Here's my Actual "Inaugeral Entry" copied and pasted from a previous bloghost.

Principals:
Senior high school	$97,486
Jr. high/middle school	91,334
Elementary school	85,907
Assistant principals:
Senior high school	79,391
Jr. high/middle school	76,053
Elementary school	71,192